Older, though not necessarily wiser

Been reading a few Lit stories again, after a long, long absence. Two years, and I'm back to square one as far as my love life goes.

Again it's the Nonconsent/Reluctance stories that've really gotten me going. It's interesting that on my own I revert back to the wilder side of eroticism. I guess I've never been too comfortable with this abhorrent fetish of mine. Whenever I've dated a guy it's always been something I've- not tried to hide necessarily- just. Subconsciously suppressed, curating my own sexuality for a perceived mainstream.

I don't know where this is going. Just some self-indulgent rambling.

Two new stories!

Finished and uploaded two stories recently in fairly quick succession.

Captured in Space! is... well, what it says on the tin. Freighter captain falls into the hands of space pirates. It's my first crack at the sci-fi category.

Thanks For the Quickie is my first attempt at second-person perspective. It was inspired by Red Eye, particularly that one scene where Cillian Murphy overpowers Rachel McAdams in the airplane lavatory. At the end of the scene he says 'thanks for the quickie'. The casual way he tosses it out is such a potent sign of his dominance over Rachel McAdam's character that it's stuck in my mind ever since I first saw it. In the movie there isn't actually any sex, but the whole scene has an overtly rapey subtext that I just took and made text.

Third story

So, my latest story has gone online. It's another non-consent one, and it's a little more ambitious.

To be honest, I thought this was much better than my other two, but it's gotten the lowest ratings of my three stories. I write mainly for myself (and I enjoy it, too!), but that's still a little disheartening.

I wonder what I did wrong, compared to the other two.

Second story!

Posted my second Lit story, after almost two years. I did write a bit once in a while between the time I posted the first one and now, but always a paragraph here, a sentence there. I also always get stuck on the sex part, strange as it sounds. I don't actually have much sexual experience outside vanilla stuff (yet!), and the perfectionist part of me just kept sneering at what I've written. Besides, what has gotten me going was always the erotic scenario, everything leading up to the sex. But of course, I can't just go "and then they had sex" or some rubbish like that. Being a long-time reader, I know how frustrating it is to be swept along by a great set-up that leads to a mediocre or rushed sex scene.

But anyway, second story. It's an incest one this time, the premise also vaguely inspired by real life. It's quite a revelation how much more popular this story is. The story's only been online for about a day, and it's already got more readers as my old one did in a year and a half, and more than seven times the amount of votes. Granted, the writing is a little better this time round (if I do say so myself) - I can't even bring myself to re-read 'Extracurriculars' any more - but the difference is kind of staggering. I guess the Incest/Taboo category just gets more traffic.

Also, this is the eighteenth story called 'Laundry Day'! A bunch of 'em were even in the same category. That's more than a little humbling.

Comments

i liked your story. the story feels a bit like you are scared to actually embrace how the woman is feeling. i wanted to know how she felt to be used [to give over the power]. you set the character up as having a high sex drive and willing to play with herself in a public toilet. so it seemed out of character that it was unclear whether she was enjoying her submissiveness; why not tell us explicitly how her domination by the guard affected her sexual desires?

^ A named commenter on my story. See what I mean about exposed?? The scarier thing is that I think he's basically spot-on. I've been reading (and enjoying!) nonconsent/reluctance stories for a while but actually writing them felt like a different animal.
 
I think I'm going to keep writing and posting though. On the whole it feels good to have something out there.

First story!

I just posted my first story on Literotica. I've been a semi-regular of that site pretty much since I started reading smut, but for some reason I've never submitted anything before. I guess I'm kind of proud to have published something on Lit after so long, but I also feel kind of exposed (not in a sexy way). But I suppose I've always been sexually repressed - shame is a huge part of my sexual consciousness, so I'm not really sure if this is the norm for new writers of erotica.